We see God raising our self-awareness as we live between two realities.
One day we feel uplifted, joyful, and thankful for God’s care and provision. We are rejoicing that we are in Wilmore, KY, USA where we can have our baby girl, study, have a place to live and food to eat, and have this season of preparation.
Other days Andrew and I feel crushed and thrown off by the news of the terror in Ukraine. Death, injustice, terrorism, lost homes, lost lives. Dead children, babies, entire families. We can leave our home in Ukraine for some time, but deep care and love for home never leaves Andrew and me. With every rocket fired, human killed, and life destroyed our hearts are crushed and wounded over and over again.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on how it can be possible to live between two opposite realities and not go crazy. Or not get weary.
This is the everyday life of Ukrainians: two opposite realities, two completely valid and real experiences. One minute you celebrate your birthday and the next you cry in confusion over how those killed by russian terrorists in Lviv, Poltava, Dnipro, and Kharkiv won’t be able to celebrate anything anymore.
One of the things that the Lord emphasized to me is the importance of recognizing these realities and allowing myself to sit in them, to not run away, numb out, minimize, or rationalize my way out. But to be brave enough to own them and to sit in them together with Jesus. To thank, rejoice, bless, and praise. To grieve, lament, hurt, and be angry.
Because that is the only way it becomes my personal experience with Jesus and that is what the Lord will use later in my interactions with people.
I can’t stop the war, I can’t protect my people from loss and hurt. But I can be honest with God and allow Him to use these feelings to shape me and mold me so that later I’m able to be there for others.
I invite you to sit with me in these feelings of anger, confusion, and lament, and enter into a time of pleading to God for justice and mercy for the weak, wounded, hurting, and oppressed in Ukraine.
Mary and Andrew are Inspire Missioners and OMS missionaries in Kyiv, Ukraine, living in the USA for a season. Read more of Andrew and Mary’s news and stories HERE.
