Where on earth, I found myself wondering, do these guys come from? How do they find us, or do we find them?
When I sat down at the table with Gary this morning- a random choice, since I try to get to know the new people- he seemed ‘ordinary.’ Stocky, only a few gray hairs, tattoos over most of his right bicep, he would be comfortable in any gymnasium or bar. I spent time chatting with him about how his congregation came to call this urban civic building its’ sanctuary. Now he is giving his testimony in front of the group: “At that point, I didn’t know I was bipolar. I had chosen some friends, and I did the things they did because we thought it was fun: a little weed, a little cocaine…”
Like the other speakers, Gary will receive feedback from the group after his presentation. What will be praised is what is ‘real’. The willingness to risk the vulnerability associated with honesty. This team is being formed, built, melded in preparation for a four day excursion into Telford, a maximum security prison, where facade is the usual posture and any vulnerability risks exploitation, or worse. Where posturing is the currency of the realm, the fake detectors are very good. Credibility will be everything.
I have never seen an employment ad like this: Wanted: persons of checkered background, chemical dependence or confirmed antisocial behavior a plus, willing to give up a minimum of four Saturdays training for the chance to give up four more days behind razor wire to… share redemption. No compensation in this world, expect to bear your share of the expenses.
Yet people with the necessary qualifications show up when they are most needed. I think redemption is what it is about. The past, ours and theirs, cannot be changed. But life is lived in forward gear. Songwriter Carrie Newcomer has written about the holiness of ordinary things: ‘the empty page, the open book. Redemption everywhere you look..’ Our ‘open book’, our history going forward, is what we choose to make it.
I sit at the table and listen. I am actually not very good at this ministry. My contribution is to enable the ones who are good at this to do what they do. My sins have been ordinary and my personal story lacks drama. But those of us who have been to the edge of the abyss, and stepped back- or been fished out, as the case may be- understand that we were not simply redeemed, but were redeemed for a purpose. We submit to the forge of honesty. The hunger for more of God means sharing more of what we have received.
Paul
