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Nativity in Lockdown

This nativity play made us smile. But, as is often the case with humour, it also caused us to pause for thought. 

Pod 1: Mary, Joseph, Donkey, Innkeeper 
Pod 2: People of Bethlehem, 
Pod 3: Angels, 
Pod 4: Variety of animals
Pod 5: Stars

Act 1:  Mary and Joseph’s House

Joseph: Mary, get the donkey ready, we need to leave now and make our way to  Bethlehem. 
Mary: But Joseph, that’s more than 5km.
Joseph: Don’t worry, it’s an essential trip, it’s for the census. 
Mary: I’ve nothing ready. I’ll just pop down to the market and pick up a few baby-grows, just in case.

Joseph: Did you not get the baby stuff?
Mary: I couldn’t, the clothes stalls were sectioned off.  Seemingly kids’ clothes are not essential items. What’ll we do?
Joseph: Don’t worry, we can wrap him in swaddling. Right, let’s go. Just checked Maps, looks like there are long tail backs with checkpoints on all major routes

Act 2: Bethlehem. 

Mary: Joseph, I’m totally wrecked, we need to find an inn for the night. 
Joseph: I’d say they’re all closed with the restrictions. 
Mary: You’d never think we were at Level 5 with all those people milling around. 
Joseph: Well, Christmas is coming!
Mary: Not if we don’t find somewhere safe to have this child.
Joseph: Look, there’s an innkeeper, he may take pity on us……Excuse me sir, my wife is due her baby soon. Is there a place we could stay?
Innkeeper: Afraid not, most inns went bust during the lockdown. But I do have a stable out the back. 
Mary: Oh, that would be wonderful!
Innkeeper: I’ll have to remove some of the animals. Restrictions on gatherings and all that..
Innkeeper (shooing all the animals out, with the exception of cow and sheep): Right, here we are. There’s a manger at the back, may be useful if the baby arrives unexpectedly. Speaking of which, no fathers at the birth!
Joseph: Not a problem with me. I’m not the dad!
Innkeeper: Oh…ok…just make sure the dad doesn’t turn up. I don’t want any trouble. 
Joseph: That may be a bit tricky, apparently he’s everywhere.
Innkeeper: Well, make sure he stays out of sight. 
Mary: No worries on that front!
Innkeeper: Ok, I’ll leave you guys to it. Now remember, no visitors from other households. 
Mary: Just a few shepherds, they’ll stay in their pods?
Innkeeper: No!
Mary: What about the three kings from Orient Are, they’re following a star to get here?
Innkeeper: I don’t care who they are or where they’re coming from. Last thing I need is a Stargate on my doorstep. 
Mary: I suppose a host of Angels is out of the question?
Innkeeper: As long as they stay on the roof, they should be ok!
Mary: Hallelujah!
Innkeeper: No singing! Oh and leave the door and windows open!
Mary and Joseph and sheep and cow: Thank you so much!
Innkeeper: Happy Christmas
Joseph: Isn’t it a bit early for that?

©️ Class Action News, November 2020

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